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SPN: brothers

Supernatural ficlet

Posted on 2005.11.25 at 16:20
Current Mood: tiredprocrastinating
Tags: , ,
Yeah, I know, I should be working on my [info]yuletide fic.  What can I say, I just needed to get the pretty ghost-hunting boys out of my head before I can get back to the pretty [deleted because I can't mention what I'm writing for [info]yuletide.

Title: Communication
Author: [info]marinarusalka
Rating: PG for some swearing
Pairing: None.
Summary: A short missing scene near the end of "Asylum"
Disclaimer: Sam and Dean are way too pretty to be owned by the likes of me.


They drove back to the motel in stony silence.  Sam cleared his throat once or twice as if he was getting ready to say something, but Dean kept his eyes squarely on the road, and for once Sam took the hint and kept quiet.  Dean was glad of it.  He'd meant it when he told Sam he wasn't in a caring and sharing mood.

He wasn't in a driving mood, either.  It was stupid: this wasn't the most physically demanding job he'd ever done, not by a long shot, and he'd certainly been hurt worse often enough, yet he didn't recall ever feeling so cripplingly tired before. He ached all over, every bone and muscle, and his chest was giving him a good idea of how a tenderized steak must feel.  Getting old, Winchester.  Over the hill at twenty-seven, how's that for pathetic? Any other time, he would've let Sam drive.  Then again, any other time, they would've been talking now.

"Dibs on first shower," he said when they reached their room, and Sam actually looked startled to hear his voice for a moment.  He started to clear his throat again, then caught himself, looked away from Dean and made a big production about digging his key from his pocket.

Dean would've traded the Impala for a long, hot soak, but their bathroom didn't have a tub, just a shower stall with a glass door and ancient, discolored white tiles.  At least the water pressure was good.  Dean stood under the scalding stream and willed his muscles to relax as the heat soaked in.

His chest was one giant bruise,  mottled and raw, angry red specks marking where bits of salt had lodged under the skin.  His coat and shirt had absorbed some of the blast, but not all.  It stung like hell.  Would probably go on stinging for hours.  Looking made it feel worse somehow, so Dean stared at the wall and tried not to think about what would've happened if Sam had fired at his face. 

His list of things not to think about was growing at an alarming rate recently.  That was probably pathetic, too.

He could've stayed there all night, but the water ran cold after a while.  Dean shivered as he reached for a towel. His clothes lay in a heap where he'd dropped them by the door.  Dean left them there.  Not his usual MO, but he was tired, dammit, and there was no one around to make him do fifty push-ups for being a lazy slob.  So he wrapped the towel around his waist and trudged back into the room, ignoring the faint nagging of guilt caused by the sight of his socks soaking up a puddle under the sink.

Sam's eyes widened a little as he took in the damage, but all he said was, "You'd better not have used up all the hot water."

"Cold showers are good for you," Dean told him. Sam paused to glare at him before slamming the bathroom door shut.

Dean found a clean pair of boxers in his bag and put them on, then sat on the edge of the bed to rummage through the first-aid kit.  There was a half-empty bottle of codeine left over from Sam's last trip to the ER and an almost-new tube of Aspercreme buried among the crystals, the vials of holy water and the carefully labeled herb pouches.  Dean dry-swallowed two of the pills and rubbed a handful of the ointment over his chest, wincing every time his fingers slid over a tender spot.  His stomach growled.  Yesterday's dinner had been a long time ago, and apparently being shot by his baby brother burned up a lot of calories.  Dean thought longingly about a big fat greasy cheeseburger, with bacon and mushrooms and onions, and French fries drowning in ketchup.  And a beer.  Several beers.  Lots of beers.  So fucking what if it was eight in the morning?

The fleabag motel they were staying at had no restaurant, but they'd passed a strip mall on the way.  It would take maybe five minutes to drive over there.  Dean started to rise to his feet, but the exhaustion washed over him in a cold, smothering wave.  All the small steps that made up a routine food run -- get dressed, put on shoes, walk out to the car, start the car -- suddenly loomed before him as a series of giant, insurmountable obstacles.  His legs wobbled and he sat back down, breathing as if he'd just had a workout.

He was still sitting there when Sam emerged from the bathroom, looking grumpy and carrying his clothes in a neatly folded pile.  Dean braced himself for the inevitable bitching about the cold water, but it didn't come.  He stared at the faded patch of carpet in front of him and didn't look up when Sam's bare feet came into view.

"Dean?"  Sam's voice was soft, with a little hitch to it.  He sounded all of ten years old when he talked liked that.  Except he wasn't ten years old.  He was twenty-two, a man grown.  Old enough to vote and drink and hunt, and to think his big brother was a pathetic loser.  Old enough to aim a gun at the pathetic loser's face and pull the trigger.  It was just plain fucking unfair, after all that, that he could stand there and speak Dean's name in his little-boy-lost voice, and Dean had to fucking concentrate to keep from automatically reaching out to comfort him.

And he wasn't backing off, either.  "Dean, are you okay?"

"Sure," Dean said.  "I'm peachy."

Silence for a while after that.  Sam's feet shuffled out of sight, returning a few minutes later clad in jeans and tennis shoes.

"I'm going to go get something to eat.  You coming?"

"Nah.  I'm…" damned it he was going to admit to being tired, or to any other weakness, just then.  "…not hungry."

"Oh. Okay."  Sam's voice hitched again.  Dean clenched his hands around a fold in the bedspread.  "Do you want me to--"

"I'll see you when you get back," Dean said sharply.

"Right.  Sure."  Sam shifted his weight from foot to foot.  "Car keys?"

"In my coat."

Sam left.  Dean stayed where he was for another couple of minutes before deciding that he'd wallowed enough.  His legs still wobbled when he first stood up, but he braced himself against the wall and waited until they steadied before returning to the bathroom to retrieve his clothes from the floor.

Except they weren't on the floor.  His jeans, scruffy but still wearable, lay carefully folded on the counter next to the sink.  Everything else hung from the laundry line in the shower stall, wet and clean.  Dean stood and stared for a while, then grabbed the jeans and went to get dressed. 

He was flipping channels on the TV when Sam returned, juggling two paper sacks and two cups of coffee in a cardboard carry tray.

"Here." He said, and handed one of the sacks to Dean.  "I know you said you weren't hungry, but I thought I'd bring you something just in case."

Cheeseburger with bacon and mushrooms and onions.  Fries.  An actual bottle of ketchup, not the little foil packets.  No beer, but the coffee had the right amount of sugar in it when Dean sipped it. 

The sudden new ache in Dean's chest had nothing at all to do with rock salt.

"Thanks," he muttered, and poured a puddle of ketchup into the styrofoam lid of the fries container.  "You washed out my clothes."

Sam shrugged, not looking up from the coffee he was stirring.  "I just figured, by the time we got to a laundromat, the bloodstains would set."

"Thanks," Dean said again.  "I mean that."

Sam's face turned a faint shade of pink.  He mumbled something that might've been "you're welcome" under his breath, fidgeted in his chair for a bit, and finally launched into speech at the exact moment as Dean.

"Dean, I swear I--"

"Sam, I'm really not--"

They both trailed off into silence.  Sam's blush deepened.  He looked at the floor, then at Dean, then at the floor again, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"You go first," he said.

"Nah," Dean said, "I don't think we really need to go there."

"But we--"

"Sam.  I get the idea, okay?  And I'm willing to take it on faith that you get it.  Not seeing the need for a Hallmark moment here.  Let a man eat his fries in peace, okay?"

"Okay," Sam sighed, but he looked more relieved than disappointed as he tore the wrappers off his own food.  Which turned out to be a fruit cup and something that looked suspiciously like a bran muffin.  Dean gaped at it in an only slightly exaggerated show of disgust.

"Granola food!  A Winchester is eating granola food!  What is the world coming to?"

"Hey," Sam said, "some of us like to take a break from the grease and sodium sometimes, Some of us actually remember what the word 'breakfast' means.  Some of us are going to laugh and laugh at the irony when the cholesterol kills you before any ghost or demon has the opportunity."

"Some of you," Dean said, "are just asking to get that bran muffin crammed where the sun don't shine."

"Just you try it, that's all," Sam said and grinned.

Dean grinned back.  It felt almost right.



So while I've got you all here, any Supernatural watchers on my flist willing to beta read future fics?  I'd like to write more in this fandom, but I hate posting without a beta reader.

Comments:


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M
[info]meko00 at 2005-11-26 01:07 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, also: he didn't recall ever feeling so cpipplingly tired before
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 01:29 (UTC) (Link)
*headdesk* Duh! Okay, I fixed it. Thanks for the catch.
StoryDivaGirl
[info]storydivagirl at 2005-11-26 01:35 (UTC) (Link)
Ooh...I loved this. Great post-episode piece.

I wouldn't mind helping you out if you needed it.

My email: tommygirl828@gmail.com

And you can just check out my livejournal/memories if you want an example of my writing first. But yeah, so long as it's not incest fic (a squick of me), I can help you out.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 15:21 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much, both for the feedback and the beta offer. I probably won't have a chance to work on more SPN fic till after the holidays, but I'll definitely keep it in mind.

thanksXallthefish
[info]shealynn88 at 2005-11-26 01:38 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, LOVED it! Perfectly in character for both of them! Loved this line...it said so much about their relationship with so few words:

It was just plain fucking unfair, after all that, that he could stand there and speak Dean's name in his little-boy-lost voice, and Dean had to fucking concentrate to keep from automatically reaching out to comfort him.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 15:23 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I'm happy you thought it was in character. :-)
Stacey
[info]staceey at 2005-11-26 02:20 (UTC) (Link)
Great job and I really love this line.
It was just plain fucking unfair, after all that, that he could stand there and speak Dean's name in his little-boy-lost voice, and Dean had to fucking concentrate to keep from automatically reaching out to comfort him.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 15:24 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! I added that line in my very last revision, and I'm glad I did, 'cause it's getting such a nice response. :-)
Sorrel, the artist formerly known as goddessleila
[info]sorrelchestnut at 2005-11-26 03:16 (UTC) (Link)
Perfect coda to the episode. I'm willing to beta anytime you need- bakerae2@vcu.edu is my email. Send it over if you want.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 15:25 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much. :-)
Sarah
[info]ringwench at 2005-11-26 04:16 (UTC) (Link)
Absolutely LOVED this fic! You have a really good grasp on the characterization. This was what I would have wanted the end of the episode to be :-)

Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 15:26 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I'm very happy you liked it.
CC
[info]traveller at 2005-11-26 05:03 (UTC) (Link)
i really enjoyed this - you've got dean's voice down quite well. :)
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 15:27 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
[info]whipper at 2005-11-26 12:45 (UTC) (Link)
Dean grinned back. It felt almost right.

Just perfect. No, really. Of all the Asylum fic's I've read lately this is definitely my favorite. Absolutely brilliant.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 15:27 (UTC) (Link)
Wow, that's high praise indeed. Thank you very much. :-)
Dannyblue
[info]dannyblue at 2005-11-26 19:42 (UTC) (Link)
Just excellent. And so touching. My heart was breaking for Dean the whole time.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 21:14 (UTC) (Link)
Dean has a way of doing that to people, doesn't he?

Thanks you for commenting. I'm glad you liked the story.
monkie, dude!
[info]monkiedude at 2005-11-26 21:13 (UTC) (Link)
This was excellent, and kudos on being able to get inside Dean's head so believably. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad you plan on writing more.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-26 21:31 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I totally want to write lots more in this fandom. It's just a matter of time, and of getting the plot bunnies to stand still long enough for me to grab one. :-)
getting the chocolate in the peanut butter
[info]dotfic at 2005-11-26 22:43 (UTC) (Link)
Lovely fic. You address all those post-Asylum issues but in an understated way. Good details. It's the small things: Dean finding his clothes neatly folded in the bathroom just did me in...*wibbles*
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-27 00:14 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. Much as would've liked to make the boys sit down for a cathartic, bare-your-sould conversation, I think understated is the only way to go with them. Love means never having to say you're sorry, but occasionally having to do the other guy's laundry. :-)
When it is darkest, men see the stars.
[info]witchofthedogs at 2005-11-27 22:43 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for bringing clarity to what is turning out to be a universe of post-Asylum dreck.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-27 23:29 (UTC) (Link)
You're welcome. I do my best. :-)

And thank you for commenting.
[info]magickly at 2005-11-29 04:56 (UTC) (Link)
I really liked that. You didn't make the guys overly wordy and talkative - it really seems to go well with the characters. They speak with actions instead of words. I liked:

...and Dean had to fucking concentrate to keep from automatically reaching out to comfort him.

...looked away from Dean and made a big production about digging his key from his pocket.

It's just such a good portrayal. Thanks for writing it!
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-29 16:29 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I'm glad the characterization worked for you. I agree, heart-to-heart talks would be out of place with the boys.
Amalthia
[info]amothea at 2005-11-29 06:45 (UTC) (Link)
lovely fic. :) thanks for sharing.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-29 16:27 (UTC) (Link)
Glad you liked it! Thanks for commenting.
[info]smashsc at 2005-11-29 21:24 (UTC) (Link)
lovely and nicely in character and in keeping with the show's tone. Great post ep fic.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-11-30 03:51 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you ver much. :-)
too pure to be pink
[info]lyra_wing at 2005-12-03 21:51 (UTC) (Link)
This is really, really good. I think it's possibly one of the best post-Asylum fics out there.

This is so plausible and the bros are so in character that I really think this DID happen in that blip of time between leaving the asylum and the phone call. I mean, it's practically canon.

Wonderful job, really. If you'd like, can beta for you in the future (but only after mid-December, cuz finals are coming up...).
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-12-04 23:14 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I did try hard to make the story sound like something that could've happened in an episode, and I'm very happy to hear it worked.

Good luck with you finals. Mine are next week. :-P
Alethia
[info]alethialia at 2005-12-07 05:28 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, it's fabulous!

And a beer. Several beers. Lots of beers. So fucking what if it was eight in the morning?

Hee! You've got Dean's voice down perfectly.

It was just plain fucking unfair, after all that, that he could stand there and speak Dean's name in his little-boy-lost voice, and Dean had to fucking concentrate to keep from automatically reaching out to comfort him.

I like this. I like that Dean wants to be mad at him, but can't because Sam gets to him. And I love how it's phrased.

I get the idea, okay? And I'm willing to take it on faith that you get it. Not seeing the need for a Hallmark moment here. Let a man eat his fries in peace, okay?

Hee! Perfect Dean, once again. And it's great that Sam knew, knew him so well he knew that Dean wanted a cheeseburger for breakfast. So great.

Thank you so much!
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2005-12-09 15:41 (UTC) (Link)
Thank *you* for such lovely, lovely feedback. I'm happy to hear Dean's voice came across well. I've turned into a total Dean fangirl, but I'm still working on figuring out what makes him tick. :-)
late nights by the water
[info]haunted_attics at 2006-01-01 14:05 (UTC) (Link)
I found this through someone's recs, and I'm so glad.

It's definitely how I see it going.

I like how they don't talk about their feelings at all, I like that the little things like washing clothes and getting food were what helped make things better. I like that Sam knew exactly what to get Dean. Oh, I just like everything, really.

And every time Dean thought he was pathetic made me go all twisty inside, the poor thing.

I love it.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-01-05 15:27 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much for commenting! I'm glad you liked the story.

And yeah, I think Dean was way more bothered by Sam calling him pathetic than he was by Sam shooting him.
Jain
[info]jain at 2006-01-02 20:35 (UTC) (Link)
Oh my God, but this story is beautiful. The way the two of them are so afraid to trust each other and so certain that they're alone, even as they both love each other and are trying to do their best, is heartbreaking and perfect. Dean's inability to leave the mess in the bathroom just killed me, especially when it turns out that Sam was taking care of him all along.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-01-05 15:29 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! Sam and Dean have such a beautifully complicated relationship, and if I can capture even a little bit of it in a story, that makes me happy.
Blonde on the inside
[info]stormcloude at 2006-01-24 10:11 (UTC) (Link)
Poor Dean. I really liked how Sam took care of him despite himself and that they managed to get it worked out in the end.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-01-24 20:52 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I admit, I'm a sucker for stories where the boys take care of each other.
Pheebs1
[info]pheebs1 at 2006-03-14 13:44 (UTC) (Link)
Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this, and because I like to be specific in my praise:

"the exhaustion washed over him like a cold smothering wave" - very visual, great description.

"the sudden new ache in Dean's chest had nothing to do with rock salt" - aw, lovely.

"Let a man eat his fries in peace, okay?" - very Dean.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-03-14 19:33 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-)
(Anonymous) at 2006-04-10 16:59 (UTC) (Link)
wonderful fic. You captured Dean perfectly. thanks for sharing.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-04-12 02:41 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
[info]halfshellvenus at 2006-04-10 23:24 (UTC) (Link)
Nice. Here on a rec from [info]polyfandomrecs.

It was just plain fucking unfair, after all that, that he could stand there and speak Dean's name in his little-boy-lost voice, and Dean had to fucking concentrate to keep from automatically reaching out to comfort him.
Perfect wording-- the exhaustion that preceded it (emotionally overwhelmed, body partly in shock) and then this. It IS unfair.

The sudden new ache in Dean's chest had nothing at all to do with rock salt.
So sweet, really. That Sam brought him what he needed and wanted, but was too tired to fight for. And Dean knows it.

Sorry, as always, that Dean won't let Sam really apologize. Part of being stuck feeling taken-for-granted and unappreciated is ... that you don't let other people prove that it's not true. :( So Dean, but so sad.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-04-12 02:42 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much for the lovely comments! I'm happy you liked the story.
phaballa
[info]phaballa at 2006-05-09 01:45 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, that was so good. Achingly good. I could feel Dean's exhaustion, his hurt. Very nicely done.
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-05-24 00:28 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much!

And I love your icon!
(Deleted comment)
Rusalka
[info]marinarusalka at 2006-05-24 00:29 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much. "Asylum" was an episode that really cried out for a coda, I thought. I'm glad you liked it.
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